Sunday, June 12, 2011

A Sexy Smoldering Bronze Look for Grown A$@ Women (GAWs)

As my dear sweet sister Marina always says erbody ain't able. After much delay I have for you a delicious, smokey, bronzey look with grown women (40+) in mind. Nothing against the younger set as I happen to be in that bracket. But much like Mrs. Robinson many women adopt a sense of confidence and security that is in a different bracket after 40. Unfortunately that is also when some of the unfortunate effects of gravity begin to take place. That does not mean however that a woman should feel any less sexy or not wear the hottest trends of the season as she matures. It just means there needs to be a few modifications so as not to accentuate her acquired wisdom (wrinkles).

Now of course as you may have noticed I have coined a special term for "grown women." Terms like older and mature are insulting and not equally applied to men. Enter, Grown Ass Women or GAWs. A GAW does not apologize for her opinion. She has experienced life and has likely been responsible for the development of some miniature humans. She has worked hard for less money and dealt with sexism and misogyny with a smile. I love GAWs, if I had been straight I would have TOTALLY been into a cougar.

So consider this my tribute to those wonderful women who are our sisters, cousins, mothers and grandmothers. Because moving through life is no reason not to feel sexy. I have also chosen a convenient and lovely compact from Urban Decay (UD) to make achieving this look even easier. You can purchase your very own compact here.

The colors I used from left to right are as follows:
1. Virgin
3. Naked
5. Buck
6. Half Baked
10. Hustle

First apply the Urban Decay Primer Potion, which is included with the compact in a sample size, from lash to brow. You can use your finger or a synthetic brush it won't effect the application either way. As I have mentioned in a previous post, applying your shadow prior to foundation or concealer can prevent fallout. Fallout is DISASTROUS for a GAW as it can make her look tired when she isn't. Granted she might be but half the point of makeup is to look well rested right?

Now there is a good bit of fuss about shimmer or frosted shades for GAWs so let me weigh in on that. You ABSOLUTELY can wear them but it's how and where you place them that make all the difference. Super shimmery shades should be on the lid or tear duct ONLY as they can accentuate wisdom. Lightly frosted (satin) shades are perfect for blending in the crease or the lash line. The reduced shimmer in these finishes give a nice glow without accentuating wisdom. Finally whatever your age I HATE high frosted shadow as the brow highlight with few exceptions. Those exceptions are fantasy looks, Jersey Shore makeovers and Totally Eighties parties.

Now stepping of the Dove Soapbox and back to the look. Take a synthetic brush and place a cream gold shadow across your lid. I used Makeup Forever's Gold 004 Flash Color. It is VERY sparkly so focus the product on the lid only.

Now take a flat shadow brush like the MAC 212, and pack the Urban Decay Shadow Half Baked onto the lid over the MU4EVR shadow base. Again stay focused on the lid with this super shimmery shade. The payoff is a gorgeous and sexy shimmer that doesn't overwhelm and looks great with any eyecolor.

The easiest way to get an instant smokey eye is to line the lashes and smudge out the liner with eyeshadow. Fortunately the naked compact includes two of UD's iconic 24/7 water proof eyeliners. With waterproof products you can have a full face by the pool or on the beach.....ya know if you are just too type A to wear a pair of sunglasses. Nonetheless these liners live up to their name let me tell you. So take the shade whiskey and glide it along your upper and lower lash line.

Using a pencil brush, I used MACs 219, smudge UD shadow Hustle into the liner. You should probably do this pretty quickly after lining so that the liner smudges prior to setting. As you can see the smokey bronzey goodness begins to emerge!

This tip has always been my secret weapon to brighten up the eyes. A light and frosty shade right on the tear duct. This trick will work well into your eighties and will always make you look more rested. Here I have applied UD's Virgin with a tiny synthetic brush. Feel free to insert whatever joke you like about the name of the shade...lord knows I did.

Using your favorite fluffy brush, mine is the MAC 224, blend the UD shade Buck into the crease. This is a matte shade that you can't use too much of. It gives a nice soft blend and contrasts nicely with all the shimmer.

Now unfortunately this compact does not have a very good matte highlighter. That said everyone should have a good matte flesh toned or off white highlighting shade. Here I used a Prescriptives shade but would recommend MAC's Blanc Type, or Ben Nye's Toast. So using a large flat shader brush blend your highlighter from the brow down to your contour shade.

I mentioned in a previous post about tight lining. This is not for everyone and can make your eyes look small. It's best to experiment yourself and see what works for you. Successful tight lining will make your lashes look thicker and a smokey look SMOLDERING. I used a basic flat lining brush and black gel liner on the upper and lower water line.

Here I used the UD shade Naked and the MAC 266 angled brush to fill in my brows. As a general rule a GAW should go for a soft brow like this one. Overly defined or overly plucked brows can look harsh or masculine, and while you might love her art no one wants to look like Frida Kahlo. Finally curl your lashes and coat a few times with your favorite mascara and you are ready to take on the world!

As always feel free to suggest any look you would like to see or to pose any makeup question you would like answered. Thanks y'all and ENJOY!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Where in the world is David San Diego?

Well friends I know it has been a while since I posted, lets just say I have busy about the business of enjoyng life. Having been in school for the past eight years my spare time has often been limited and frequently non-existent. However I have a long weekend coming up and two tutorials to put together for all of you as promised.

First I would like to expound upon, if I may, a piece of philosophy I came across that was an "aha" moment for me. It has everything to do with the idea of attitude and was shared by modern day prophet Oprah Winfrey. Like many things Oprah shares, this was via someone that influenced her, namely Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor.

Dr. Taylor was a Harvard trained brain scientist that experienced a massive stroke at 37 years of age. The stroke robbed her of things like speaking, walking, and working. Despite such a drastic medical mishap she found a newfound sense of purpose and meaning through her now incredibly limited experience of life. I have not yet fully explored her work but one quote stood for me. This quote was placed in Oprah Winfrey's makeup room for her to remember prior to every show.

"You are responsible for the energy you bring into a space"

Plain and simple, if you come in negative and in a poor mood, you are responsible for the negative impact that has on others. Often times we excuse that responsibility because obviously no one else can be having as bad a day as me. Or we feel entitled to the grumping and grousing we are hurling at the world around us.

It's like I have always said about one of my biggest influences Viktor Frankl, if he can enjoy the beauty of a sunset amidst the horrors of Auschewitz, then what do the rest of us have to complain about? Attitude is all about context and what face you choose to present to the world.

At the risk of sounding preachy, we all have a choice in how we react to things in our everyday life. When we choose to react in anger or fear this only breaks down our own spirits, rarely the person we direct it at. When we go in to our place of work, home, or lesiure with a poor attitude it invariably brings down the mood of others in the space.

I believe our grandmothers referred to it as the "bad apple" syndrome. This is not to suggest that any of us are produce, but merely a gentle reminder that we are all in control of the energy we put out into the world and we should all take responsibility for it.

So I challenge you, me, and the world to stop making excuses about our "bad day" and to find our joy in even the littlest things and share it. It can be as simple as recognizing you are in a bad mood, then go and post a joyful quote on your Facebook page.

With disasters like the tornadoes in Joplin Missouri does that person that cut me off or that credit card bill REALLY matter that much?

No they don't

So here's to being intentional about the energy we take with us into the space of others. And if someone is polluting your space with a bunch of ho hum Eeyore misery, my suggestion is that you gently, kindly, but firmly get the hell away from them.

To learn more about Dr. Bolte Taylor head on over here

Love you'uns

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Fab Products I discovered in NYC

OK so I know it has been a bit since I blogged but I was waiting for, shall we say, inspiration? Well five days in New York City has provided me with a bevy of just that. So to start out I am so excited to share about two FABULOUS beauty finds that are reasonable and unique.

The first is Inglot Cosmetics, a Swiss cosmetic brand that is just now available in the US and giving MAC a serious run for their money. Besides the fact that all their products are INSANELY pigmented they are affordable too! Oh and did I mention that you can customize whatever you want in compacts of 4, 10, and 20!?! By anything you want that would be lipsticks, eyeshadows, even concealers. I could talk all day long about the textures, finishes etc but trust me nothing was of poor quality.

Much to Derek's chagrin they had a store in Times Square, he of course took full advantage of the comfy leather seating to roll his eyes and pray I didn't blow our entire vacation budget on eyeshadow. Imagine how tickled he was to find out that on top of the affordability factor they offer 20 % off to professionals!

You can be excepting some new tutorials with my new pretties very soon but until then please do run on over to their website and build your very own palette of yummy deliciousness!

Now onto my next discovery, which is more bath and body oriented for those that do not share my obsession with making Dolly Parton look demure.

Lush is an organic and all natural cosmetic brand that makes primarily bath and skin products. I can't really describe it to you beyond this so you should just watch this video. But let me just tell you bath time has never been this fun!

If it gives you any idea how much FUN this store and their staff was Derek Mr. "I would rather bathe in sulfuric acid with scorpions than shop with David for cosmetics " had a BALL. We left with two super fun bath bombs and a YUMMY glycerin and sea salt soap. Their products are really nothing like anything I have ever seen or felt.

Also it is so nice to find a company that makes good products that is focused on sustainability and truly living up to the idea of cruelty free. All of the products are vegetarian and some are even vegan and each product has the compounder that made it's name on it. Truly a revolution in how to do business in the world of beauty, this is a brand I actually would have loved to work for.

Hope you find something to love from one of these brands, be on the lookout for my next tutorial which was inspired by the butterfly conservatory from the Museum of Natural History.

Have a beautiful week!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Not Your Mimi's Blue Eyeshadow

A few weeks ago I polled Facebook to see what looks you would like to see, the most intriguing was a new take on blue eyeshadow. Now blue eyeshadow has the capability of causing grown women to run shrieking in horror from their local department stores. I am here to tell you that it has gotten a bad rap....largely thanks to drag queens, sales associates that have not been properly trained, and Barnum and Bailey. The trick with bright or outlandish colors is to remember that moderation isn't just for the ABC store.

Unless of course you are;

a) Working your local corner
b) Twirling around a pole
c) Shaving your face before you put your makeup on


d) In the Broadway musical Hairspray

You get the idea...unless you WANT to be the center of attention, which is fine I've certainly been there, take it easy with blue and anyone can wear it. So to that end enjoy my first BLUEtorial, Not Your Mimi's Blue Eyeshadow.

First do NOT put your foundation on first, if you use the products I did you will regret it. One of the shadows is an extremely pigmented loose shadow and if you get fallout on your foundation you will quickly look like you got hit in the eye with a Smurf.

For this look I tried a new shadow base, the Urban Decay Primer Potion. It has gotten LOTS of good press on the internet and I must say it was both easy to use and didn't screw with the colors. So first thing is to prime your eye from lash to brow with Urban Decay Primer Potion.

I usually use some additional cream color bases because I find it makes the application go faster, last longer, and be more true to the pigment in the pot. My personal favorite is the flash color by Makeup Forever, but be careful if you use too much it will crease. That is the number one complaint about this product and like most birth control it is probably operator error when it doesn't work properly.

And yes I know my eyebrows are bushy but as much as I love y'all I don't really want to walk around looking like I am sponsored by McDonalds for the sake of tutorials. We'll save that for when I start making videos....maybe.

Apply the Makeup Forever Flash Color in Argent/Silver 003 with a flat synthetic brush to the inside of the eye. This one is a Presriptives Brush but every company in the world makes one.

Apply the Makeup Forever Flash Color in Bleu Vif/Bright Blue 014 with a synthetic round brush, I am using a cheapo one I got in a Lancome GWP.

Now this step requires a bit extra and can go horribly wrong if you aren't careful. I am using Royal Sugar loose pigment by Sugarpill Cosmetics. Their products are INSANELY pigmented and for someone not accustomed to professional products it may take some practice.

Typically this product works best if applied wet and then dry. So mix the Royal Sugar with MAC Fix Plus or water and then paint it on in the corner of your eye with a flat synthetic brush, blending the edges with your finger.

Now using the MAC 212 I am pressing Royal Sugar dry into the wet base I have put down. Do not worry about blending the edge that comes later.

Next using a contour brush, this one is Prescriptives, blend Sugarpill's pressed shadow in Afterparty from the center of the lid into the Royal Sugar. Don't go towards the tear duct too much as you will be using a silver shadow there.

Using the MAC 242 I am packing that silver shadow into the tear duct and onto the first part of the lid. Once you are done it should look like it bleeds from a metallic silver to a vivd deep cobalt blue on the lid. The shadow I used is by Prescriptives but any silver shadow will do.

An important point in regards to the products I am using here most of them have dupes in just about every line. BUT I have never seen anything like the Sugarpill products that I am using so if you want to duplicate this look exactly, order these specific colors from their website

Using the MAC 224 I am blending a dark shimmery grey into the crease, this is a Prescriptives shade but many lines have deep shimmery greys. I am blending the edges of the silver and blues using this shadow and my MAC 224 airbrushing them right into the grey.

This step is IMPORTANT, as you will see in the following pictures this is the point that the blue becomes much softer and the overall look adopts it's smoky shimmery goodness.

Now using the same cheapo GWP brush I used for the blue cream base, I am blending a small amount of Makeup Forever's Flash Color in Noir/Black 011 in the lower lash line.

Using the MAC 224 again blend your dark shimmery grey into the lower lash line.

Using the MAC 252 and a soft matte or satin pink for the highlight blend it gently into the grey. I am using Chiffon by Prescriptives but again most brands have this shade. Don't use a shimmery highlight with this look it will simply be way too much.

Using the MAC 209 line the lashline using your favorite black gel liner. But work quickly because we are going to smoke it out and this product tends to dry fast.

Using the MAC 219 blend a black glittery shadow into your liner. I am using MAC Black Tied and honestly I think it is the best as far as this type of shadow goes. Not a lot of fall out and the glitter adheres nicely to the liner.

Using a metallic blue and silver liner line the water line going from the blue on the outer 2/3s of the eye to the silver on the tear duct and inner 1/3. I am using Prescriptives liners but I would reccomend Urban Decay's 24/7 Glide on Eye Pencils.

It is important to note that with looks like this you should go neutral with the cheeks and lips. I personally tried the new MAC MSF from the Wonder Woman Collection in Golden Lariat. It's a lovely bronzey shade that would look good on most skintones. Also I would suggest a nude glossy beige lip, every company known to man has one. This will ensure that your eyes are the focus and that your overall look isn't overwhelming.

Last but not least, curl and mascara your lashes, shape and fill your brow and you are ready to go to Wal-Mart in style!

Final look

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Southern Presbyterian Sissy


So last night Derek and I went to see Del Shores' play "Southern Baptist Sissies" in Charlotte NC. For the uninitiated Shores is the creative force behind the brilliant play now cult hit film "Sordid Lives." If you haven't seen Sordid Lives I urge you to go immediately to Netflix and put it in your que. In any event most of his work centers around the fact he was raised Southern Baptist in rural Texas and is also gay. AKA...the perfect candidate for therapy.

In "Sordid Lives" the plot focuses on one family and their struggles with issues revolving around sexuality, secrets, and old time religion. All of which is handled with a razor wit and a heart, appropriately, the size of Texas. "Sissies" has not made it to the silver screen yet but it should. It pans out the focus from a single family to four young gay men, all from different families, and their varying experiences. It beautifully illustrates the pain and difficulty that is growing up gay in the big ole rodeo buckle of the bible belt known as the Southern Baptist Church.

Having not been raised in a consistent church setting, other than our occasional visits to the First Presbyterian Church in Greensboro, I thought I would have a hard time relating to this show. Imagine my surprise when I was laughing out loud at the jokes and sobbing like a baby at the tragedies. My point is that even for us sissies that aren't Southern Baptist we feel the impact of all that hate. As one of the characters pointed out we all learned at a young age to hate ourselves, or perhaps to be fair we just never learned how to love ourselves for who we are.

Most of us relied on what social science buffs call the family of "choice" to learn how to love ourselves. Essentially a surrogate family that loves us for who we are. You see we humans are social creatures and will seek out a support system to make us feel safe and validated. The unfortunate thing is that often our new "family" is made up of peers or persons that are not that much older or more mature than we are. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how that might not end well. I for one am thankful that I chose well in my family of choice and that my family of origin came around. But it was a long and difficult journey. Shores play did a fantastic job of illustrating that journey.

The show presents an intense example of four caricatures that exist within all gay men in some measure or another. The flamboyant devil may care queen, the self loathing conservative perfectionist, the angry and indignant activist, and the one that many gay men hide with vitriol and cattiness, the sweet and gentle kind spirit. We learned a long time ago to don our own suits of armor, mine consisted of sequins and grease paint, others might be their perceived or actual success, while some, like one character, the illusion of his own superiority in matters of faith and virtue. Faced with a society and many time a church and family, that invalidates our very existence it is not surprising that most gay men are seeking ways to feel a sense of self worth. I just happened to find mine riding on what my dear friend and I call the "Glitter Bus."

I have since graduated from the spinning disco ball and disembarked from the Glitter Bus but they still haunt me. The idea of a young LGBT person spending their lives at the local gay bar at the bottom of a glass because, "it feels safe." That same young person that one day will grow up to be tomorrows "old troll" hanging on the edge of the bar desperately trying to relive their youth. After all in a gay bar the only thing worse than being fat, is old. An escape is just what it says it is and it can never offer true happiness or validation, that must come from within. It was these realizations that were my own personal impetus to radically change my life, not that I don't miss the escape, I just thankfully no longer "need" it.

So many young people have lost their lives ultimately to fear, of the world, of their families, and most tragically, success. "Sissies" has renewed my passion and fire to serve LGBT youth and their families, and I encourage anyone who wishes to have a greater understanding of the struggle that comes along with being gay to go and see this show. A percentage of the proceeds also goes to benefit the Trevor Project a national suicide support phone line for LGBT youth.

Tickets are available here:

Go and see it! If your not gay, a brother, sister, cousin, or roommate will be thankful :-)

Be blessed and highly flavored,


Thursday, January 20, 2011

Sh*& your dad FORGOT to say....

So I just turned 34.....not old or even middle aged. As a matter of fact I am still often referred to as a "baby" or in the southern vernacular "youngin." Be it vanity or delusion I have always had a bit of a Peter Pan complex and walked around espousing crap like "you are only as old as you feel" and "age is nothing but a number." So imagine my dismay, nay, horror when my first physical after four years doesn't go exactly as planned.

This brings me to the title of this entry, there are crucial things that older men, typically dads or uncles, REALLY should discuss as rites of passage with younger men. I know for a fact that within the female gender conversations about medical procedures and what can be expected are common and frequent. Now perhaps it is the nature of the thing, I mean there was an episode of Family Guy devoted to it's creepiness. Or it could be linked to societies internalized homophobia, or it could be that it produces too great a punch line at family functions to be discussed in great detail before it happens. Nonetheless guys are not getting the courtesy of the "warning" ladies get about pap smears and breast smashing.

I am of course talking about a prostate exam. There I was minding my own business coughing as expected when my Dr. instructs me to turn around and grab the chair. My first thought was "shouldn't I get dinner and a movie first?" That of course is the born and bred smart ass in me who in general is not freaked out by such things. But seriously....I had NO idea that this should have been expected! I can only imagine the reaction my kind Dr. might receive from some of the less cultured citizens of Catawba County. Suddenly Peter Griffins intense reaction makes sense.

So at 34 I come face to face with the fact I am getting older. My body not only doesn't function the way it once did but I am taking my first steps towards the endless list of things we all must eventually do to take care of our bodies. No big woo I think, as a matter of fact it's a badge of honor...I joke with Derek and my dad about it, lots of good natured elbowing. Then I get the phone call for my labs.....CRAP I have high cholesterol. GREAT now it really sinks in, you mean eating fast food every day, smoking, and drinking has suddenly caught up with me?! Say it ain't so.

Now it's not terrible and is easily fixed by diet and exercise, but for the first time in my life diet and exercise are a have to instead of an ideal. Let me explain, I think about my body in a more, shall we say, feminine manner. Crash dieting, ridiculous expectations, all or nothing fitness goals that typically end in tears and Ben and Jerry's. All with the very real hope and intention that I will fit back into those Lucky Brand Jeans.....sound familiar? So now I am faced with the OK I HAVE to eat better and get moving for my health. Again I come back to my title.....where is the sage advice for men as their bodies change along with their capabilities to render piles of junk food harmless?

I suppose I should find solace in the encouragement to drink red wine and the well intentioned....once you get used to eating healthy you'll LOVE it! Uh huh, so that's why the most successful businesses in this country are purveyors of grease and all things deep fried and smothered in chocolate. But I digress...within the stages of grief the first is denial. So as I grieve my BoJangles chicken supreme combo with extra seasoning on the fries and of course a Diet Coke, I am holding on to denial.

Denial that I will have to eat things like vegetables and all manner of things broiled and grilled. Denial that my exercise will have to comprise more than lifting the remote. Denial that my belt has been getting tighter since I quit smoking and began eating like I had a tapeworm. Denial that, fortunately my friends, is short lived as I have joined a gym, bought some healthy crap, and by telling Derek the "good news," ensured I will be appropriately nagged at every convenient possibility. Rest assured all well be well, as long as I have a boxing bag somewhere convenient and all of you to listen to me bitch.

I tell ya if I'm ever a dad and I have a son not only is he getting a detailed talk, he's getting a whole freaking lecture by like age 9.

Eat some bacon cheese fries for me y'all


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Hickorylicious the perfect smokey eye!

We live in the South and let's face it the higher the hair the closer to God and nice girls aren't "forward" as my grandmother would say. So how is a girl sexy? She beats those eyes until they beg for mercy!

Nothing says "I will have you eating out of the palm of my hand" quite like the perfect smokey eye. Women and 1 in ten men have all worn this look to feel sexy, smoldering, and even feral. So enjoy my version of the perfect smokey eye....Hickorylicious!

Disclaimer: Using my camera phone to photograph myself in these pictures WHILE holding up the brushes, in the appropriate positions, was incredibly entertaining for both Derek and my cats. However it did not make for the best quality photos. My hope is that you will excuse the graininess, the inconsistent lighting, and my wolf man eyebrows and walk away able to recreate this look....with better eyebrows :-)

Disclaimer part two: whenever doing a look that is this dark or dramatic always do your eyes before foundation and concealer to prevent shadow fallout and the raccoon/junkie look.

Using your finger apply a thin coat of your favorite shadow base. My choice is the MAC Paint Pot in Painterly. I like this one because it has no shimmer and it's a great skin tone shade as you can see. Apply the base from lash to brow as well as under the lower lash line all the way to the tear duct.

Using a rounded synthetic brush, this one came from a Lancome GWP, apply a grey cream shadow base in the crease as well us underneath the lower lash line to just below the iris when looking forward. This is a Prescriptives one called Smoking Gun. Since they have shuttered their doors I would recommend Dangerous Cuvee from the new MAC collection Champale.

Using a small natural fiber round brush (MAC 224) blend a black eyeshadow into the corner and about a 1/2 inch into the lower lashline. Here I am using MAC's Matte Black Pigment and a NARS brush, it does not have to be well blended at this point as you will see in the following steps.

Using a countour brush, the MAC 217 would be ideal, blend a shimmery grey brown into the crease as well as under the eye. This will blend out the black previously applied giving the coveted "airbrushed look." The color I used was Plum Smoke by Prescriptives but I would reccomend Satin Taupe by MAC.

Using a synthetic flat brush much like the MAC 242 blend a white cream base on the lid and tear duct area. I am using the MAC White Cream Base.

Using the same MAC 242 brush pack a luminous or frosty light shadow across the lid and tear duct. Here I used Vellum by MAC. It's a satin white with a violet duocrome...PRETTY!

Using a large shadow brush, (MAC 227), blend a vivid pink from the corner of the eye towards the center. I used the Presriptives soft shadow brush and Sugarpill's Dollipop. I also blended a tiny bit of the pink right under the iris when looking forward. As an aside if you have not discovered this brand run don't walk to Make sure to blend this vivid pink and the Vellum in the center.

Using a flat natural or synthetic brush (MAC 249) apply a matte white under the brow, I used Sugarpill's Tako. I also added a teeny bit of Vellum, the color on the lid, at the highest point of the arch.

Line in the lashline with your favorite black kohl liner, I used Jet by Prescriptives, then blend a black shadow into the liner with a pencil brush (MAC 219). I used MAC Black Tied shadow because it has a silver glitter in it and I thought it would be pretty but do what you feel!

Using a thin flat lining brush (MAC 212) and a black gel liner tight line your eyes. This is a technique that their are many tutorials for online whereby you line the waterline on the top and bottom of the eyes into the lashes. This achieves the "smolder" of the smokey eye. Several companies make lovely gel liners that are waterproof, MAC, Bobbie Brown, and Clinique to name a few.

Finish off your look with your favorite mascara (LANCOME) and fill in your brows however you like. I used a combination of pencil and powder here...and voila you are HICKORYLICIOUS!

Post in the comments tutorial ideas or themes you would like to see!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Up in smoke.....

So as of today I WAS a smoker, by virtue of the fact I have not had a cigarette in over 24 hours I get to say that. But I suppose I should come clean about something, it's not the first time I jumped off the nicotine bandwagon. I had quit for two years after smoking for ten but thanks to my poor anxiety coping skills.....or just my incredible talent at justifying behavior that is bad for me....I picked them back up a year and a half ago. But now grad school is over, student loans are coming due, and I aint getting any younger.

The question that always begs an answer from my non smoker friends is why did you start back? Why do you smoke? Or just the plain old beyond know those things will kill you, no shit Sherlock. So I will let you in on a little secret, I really loved smoking. Maybe it's because I wasn't breast fed, maybe there is some smoker gene, maybe it made a dork like me feel cool. Whatever the reason I enjoyed it and whenever I said I can't quit...I really meant I didn't want to. Such is the reality of any addiction and yes TV, food, and shopping can be an addiction.

So this brings me back to why I am quitting.

Well frankly it's just the smart, grown up, wise, you are supposed to model positive life choices as a counselor thing to do. In other words if I could afford it and thought I could do it without society having a hissy I probably would still be smoking. Does that say something negative about my character? Of course not, on the contrary honesty is a virtue thank you. It does however say something about the power and romance of being a smoker. It is an archetype that is etched in our collective unconscious that even today in some way equals "cool."

This archetype lures people of all walks and experiences with it's seductive, "you'll be cool and stinky!" allure. Posting on Facebook about my quitting reminded me that we current and ex smokers are all part of an indelible club that you never smokers just don't understand. Regardless of the smell, cost, or stigma we all LIKED smoking and will probably always in some way mourn the loss of such a "good friend." I am really thankful for the support I received and surprised at the people that where former smokers I didn't know about. Just goes to show even a member of the club is guilty of profiling.

But humor and sarcasm aside I have a grandmother with emphysema and copd who is still smoking, and lost another one to a lung condition. Add to that Derek's grandmother is on oxygen and STILL SMOKES and instant gratification loses a bit of it's luster. It is the reality of life that often causes us to question the things that make us feel good. We see the toll of excess on our elders and it becomes clear, that could be me if I don't make different choices. Please take note of the word different, I hardly think anyone other than the individual involved is in the position to comment on how "good" or "bad" their choices are. So I CHOOSE to be a non smoker today. I hope that I will make that choice for a long time as I am not certain what accessories will match an aluminum tank.

Thank goodness for gum, former smokers, and crappy food.

Soon to be your really fat friend with fresh breath.